Conan Gray Guesses How Well His Fans Know Him

Hey y'all, it's Conan Gray

and we're about to find out how well my fans know me.

This is Teen Vogue's fan survey.

[upbeat electronic music]

I know my fans so well.

I know their social security numbers.

I know everything,

and I know that they're gonna be trolling the whole time.

You think you know me, you don't know.

What is Conan's most memorable red carpet look?

I think people are gonna say, Met Gala last year.

As I suspected, you predictable whores, 57% this.

Now see, I told you I knew.

This was a special night.

I could barely breathe, and it was so worth it, you know?

It's nice when things are worth it.

Then, we have Met Gala the year before.

Why they invited me twice? I have no idea.

My nipples are out in this.

VMAs 2022, question mark?

This was a great one. My shoes were so tall.

When I sat down my knees were like in my face.

This is Coach at the Fashion Awards.

I had a big eyeliner.

All the Kardashians were before me,

so I was scared for my life

because there's always a frenzy that happens

when a Kardashian show up.

I was scared for my life in all of these pictures.

I hate being there.

It's fear. Fear in every cell of my body.

I like this. It's interesting.

[folders rustle]

Oh my God, I miss you. Come up!

Who do you want to see Conan collab with the most?

Probably gonna say like, BTS, Lorde, Taylor. Maybe 'Liv?

I don't know, we'll see.

Oh, [giggle] who's this?

I've never seen this girl in my life. 49% Olivia!

Wow. Look guys, I mean, this is my best friend.

Of course.

Next, Taylor Swift in a large purple dress.

Beautiful.

20%. I'm surprised by that.

I thought that'd be a little higher,

'cause I feel like the Swiftie overlap is quite large.

Oh, what? I'm surprised by this.

Troye Sivan, 8%. Wonderful lad.

Oh, Ellie Yelich-O'Connor.

What a wonderful, wonderful person. 7%?

Guys, it's a little hurtful.

She's everything to me.

[flips paper] Okay. Oh!

See, guys, I'm a genius. Are you kidding?

BTS, 4%. Four?

That's fine, I don't got, I don't have to sing with them.

I find collabs really intimidating.

Imagine going up to someone

that you don't really know that well,

and being like, Please sing with me.

I'm actually very much not interested in them

because I think they're really scary.

But, I think if I was approached,

then maybe I'd think about it.

[flips paper]

Oh my gosh, there's someone who lives down here.

Okay, If Conan wasn't a musician, he would be?

[snorts] Top answer is a model.

What? Don't be crazy, don't amp me up, don't amp me up.

A filmmaker, 19%.

I actually would've really loved making movies.

I think it would've been really fun to be behind camera,

instead of being tortured in front of camera all the time.

I went to UCLA, but for some reason

people think that I went for filmmaking. I didn't.

I actually was in one communications class.

I got the highest grade in the entire lecture,

on my final paper, and that's when I was like

I don't need this. [beep] I'm smarter than all of you.

That was sarcasm. Calm down.

Then 22%, second most answer is a teacher.

So, the the real one's know, teacher.

I wanted to be a teacher.

I had a biology teacher in the seventh grade,

named Mr. Puckesh, and he had a pet turtle,

and I was like How do you get to have a pet turtle?

He's like, I'm a biology teacher.

I was like, You're telling me

all I have to do to get a pet turtle

is become a biology teacher?

16% a baker.

It kind of is a hot person's job.

Like, have you ever met an ugly baker? No.

They're always like a little too attractive.

You're like Hmm, sure you bake.

One of my favorite movies ever,

is Kiki's Delivery Service, and maybe I'd work there.

[tosses file]

Yay! What animal do you think Conan is most afraid of?

I know my answer to this, but I will refrain

until I open and check.

So, they did this.

IDK is a quite a big answer.

I'm not that scared of many animals.

The fact that spiders is high here is projecting.

Just 'cause you're scared of spiders,

doesn't mean I'm scared of spiders.

I actually actively like spiders. I think they're very cute.

Snakes I also think are quite cute.

The animal that I'm most afraid of is sharks.

They're the dog of the sea. No, they're not.

They're not the dog of the sea.

They're scary. They're huge.

They can swim so fast, and look,

I know they're just animals. Whatever.

They're scary, okay?

I don't like that You couldn't outs swim one,

you couldn't outrun one, you're just trapped down there.

No, thank you.

I'm scared of a lot of large sea creatures.

Whales I find quite scary. The ocean in general, scary.

Yeah, the fans really got it wrong, and I don't know.

I think we have to rethink our relationship.

[upbeat electronic music]

How many days would Conan survive in a zombie apocalypse?

I know my fans

I think that they're gonna troll me on this,

and they're gonna be like zero days.

I'm pretty hearty and pretty hefty. I've been through a lot.

Strong? I'm strong emotionally.

No, I don't know. I'll take it back.

One. 27% said one day? One day?

Three days is 29%. Guys, how many days would you survive?

What do you do all day?

You sit around, you take surveys.

Look, people really have no faith in me.

The 31% that said he would thrive, thank you,

because I'd obviously live a very long time.

I hate going outside anyways. I'd just hide in some cave.

I wouldn't even notice that the zombie apocalypse started.

Like, I go weeks without leaving my house, genuinely.

So, I'd be fine.

[throws file]

Oh, come crawling back.

What cover song did young Conan do best? Wow!

Hmm, number one, Sweater Weather, 40%.

I actually agree with that, that is a great little cover.

I think I was like 19, maybe, when I sang that

in my bedroom.

Dream A Little Dream of Me.

Why do I have no idea what that is? Did I ever sing that?

♪ Dream a little dream of me ♪

I don't even know what the words to that song are,

so that's kind of crazy. 6%?

Am I insane? I don't remember that at all.

I Will Always Love You, my Dolly Parton version?

Because, God knows I don't sing well enough

to sing the Whitney Houston version.

When I was putting videos up on the internet,

I didn't think that hard about it.

I didn't realize that, like,

anything was actually being viewed by real people,

and it was pretty crazy.

It was just, kind of, my way of talking about my life.

40% for Sweater Weather, is, I think, really valid

and I agree with you, like, it's a cute one.

Thank you. [slides folder]

Which of these selfies is Conan's favorite?

Asking the important questions?

Oh, first, the Heather selfie. Great moment in history.

42% said this one, so this is probably the highest.

I would agree with this in the sense that this was like,

a fun time for us, and it became like a term, like,

Be a Heather, and now every year on December 3rd

we celebrate Heather Day,

for all the people who never got a sweater, probably you.

Hm, Loser.

This is, makes a lot of sense for number two, 32%.

This is my best friend

who doesn't love a picture with their best friend.

I believe we were in New York in this picture.

Olivia had these really tall red boots,

and she was just clumping around.

This is my favorite hoodie.

I'm the kind of person who buys one thing,

and uses it until it is no longer usable.

And this one, oh, 8%. Oh, 6%!

That's sweet. I used to walk around in only primary colors.

Don't ask me why.

I'm wearing primary colors right now, it's back.

No one can say I haven't always been myself.

You don't have to like me, [laughs]

but I've always been myself.

[throws folder]

According to Conan what's the worst way

to break up with someone?

I feel that the worst way to break up with someone

is probably ghosting. It's really rude.

I'd rather just be pummeled then be told

I don't like you 'cause I find you incredibly ugly.

The silence, you'll go crazy.

I think this is a generally agreed upon thing

in my generation, ghosting is just bad.

46% ghosting.

Via text, 33%.

I'm gonna be honest,

I've ended things with people over the text message.

I think I'm a better texter than I'm a speaker,

and if I wanna get my words right,

the text message might be a little more direct.

Phone call/In public.

I've not, you know, I've not dated enough people

to be broken up with in public.

We all know none of you guys are dating people.

We're all dating no one, like, it's fine.

We don't have to worry about this.

[throws folder]

Oh my God, I missed you, thank God you're back.

Who has Cohen's biggest inspiration?

I think I've been asked this question,

maybe a thousand times in my life,

and I've answered it so many times that I think my fans

are probably gonna have the same answers

as the answers I've always given.

63% Taylor, that's a correct answer.

Even if you don't realize it, she's definitely influenced

all of the music around you, and if you write songs yourself

she's definitely influenced you, even if you don't know.

She's a master at her craft.

Oh, Lana, 14%! Love Lana. Very formative.

Miss Adele Atkins, 14%. Guys, this needs to be higher.

I wouldn't have written music ever

if it wasn't for this woman.

I saw a video of her singing Daydreamer.

It was the first time I ever realized

that you could write a song in your bedroom.

So, really she should be extremely high.

I feel like you think you know me, but you don't. Hmm.

Oh my God! This is The Chicks, 2%.

Guys, The Chicks changed my life completely.

Come on, I'm from Texas after all, don't forget.

Love them. Cowboy Take Me Away, Great.

Goodbye Earl. There's a lot of great stuff in there.

If you haven't listened, you should give it a listen.

I think that the fact that Lorde isn't here

is pretty surprising, because she was a huge pop inspiration

to me, and I think you can really hear her

in my earliest songs. [throws folder]

You don't wanna talk to me today, that's fine.

At a party, Conan is?

Peeing, probably.

At a party Conan is the life of the party

and center of attention. You know me so well.

2%. [laughs]

Cutting it up on the dance floor.

I don't think I've ever even said the phrase

Cutting it up, so that's a 3%.

Six, Refilling drinks, and making sure everyone's good.

Here's the thing, I am very anti-drinking.

I know that makes me really boring,

and really bad at being a 20 something. I don't care.

I don't like drinking,

so I will not be refilling drinks unless they're water.

54%, Hanging out with the dog. Absolutely.

You guys know me so well.

This really makes up for the disappointment

of the last question.

I'm definitely gonna be hanging out with a dog

if there's one at a party.

I love dogs, and I love all animals, just not sharks.

Left early to go to bed, 35%. Also really, really true.

Actually, if I'm with my friends,

I'll enjoy a party because it's great people watching,

and if you're a little scared to go to a party, like,

you should go, because you never know what's gonna happen.

It's nice to break out of your comfort shell

every once in a while. [slides folder off table]

Hmm? Do you think Conan believes in aliens?

If you don't believe in aliens,

do you know like anything about general science, like space?

Guys? It's infinite.

You're trying to tell me we're the only ones? Yeah, right.

Okay, see, thank you.

Yes, 54%, and The truth is out there, is 43%.

I don't really know what the difference

between Yes and The truth is out there, is?

It might be a quote that I don't know,

but the truth is out there.

If we find intelligent life out there in the world,

I don't think one that they'd be very interested in us

because, look at us.

They're always depicted as like skinny and gray,

which I think is really interesting.

That's also projecting, like,

do you want them to be skinny and gray? Why?

Okay. [tosses folder to floor]

I think my fans did a good job.

You know, I'm gonna forgive you for not knowing

that sharks were the animal that I'm afraid of.

I think you guys know me very well,

and I know you very well. I know you.

I know what you're doing right now.

You're watching this.

Thanks for answering!

Goodbye.

[upbeat electronic music]