Coco Jones Remembers Her Mental Health "Firsts"

When I told my family I was going to therapy

they weren't even surprised

because I'm always the type to be like,

I took this quiz on my personality.

They said I should be a park ranger.

Like, I don't know why,

I just always wanna know more about myself.

What's up Teen Vogue?

It's Coco Jones.

And these are some of my firsts.

Originally, it was such a taboo topic,

but now I kind of look at mental health

in the way I look at physical health.

It's not, like, something wrong with you

if you work on your mental health,

if you have an issues with your mental health.

You wanna do whatever you can

to be the healthiest version in all capacities.

So, the first therapist that I ever really tried

has been the one that I stuck to,

but then I got hooked.

I was like, let me try more.

Let me just see what else is out there.

It's like going to a different barber.

I played myself there.

So, I went to this other therapist

and he literally was like,

I don't know how long you're gonna keep up

this old singing dream.

You know, I used to play professional baseball.

I was like, click.

Click.

Oh, I love this.

One of my biggest ah-ha moments.

I was telling my therapist,

I was like, Yeah, but that's just not the real world.

It's not the real world.

And she was like, Who said you gotta live in that world?

Why does the world's rules have to be yours?

Why does the world's definition have to be yours?

She was like, Why don't you just create your own world?

And I was like, ugh.

I literally was shook.

'Cause I'm like, who said I can't?

Yeah, that was a huge ah-ha moment.

Been doing that ever since.

I'm in my own planet, y'all.

Ooh, okay.

One of my first big boundaries that I learned.

If every conversation is you complaining

I don't wanna be involved in those conversations.

Like, I get it, you're supposed to support your loved ones,

but then there's a certain point where it's like, okay,

every time we get on the phone

I'm drained by the end of it.

So, there's one conversation where you can complain

and then the next couple have to be positive,

'cause also I'm giving you quality advice here.

If you're not gonna follow it

I'm not gonna be here for the repeat.

[Interviewer] So how how did you set that?

Did you like talk to them and tell 'em like,

hey, we're not doing this anymore?

Another thing I learned through therapy

is like compliment sandwiching.

Like, I love you so much

and we have so much fun when we're on the phone,

except right now I feel like

every time we talk it's so negative.

It's only complaining.

And I want us to get back to fun conversations

and lighthearted and, you know, uplifting each other.

You know what I'm saying?

So, the truth was in there,

in between that bread sandwich of love ya.

When I told my family I was going to therapy

they weren't even surprised

because I'm always the type to be like,

I took this quiz on my personality.

And so, I'm always into stuff like that.

And when I told my family,

I guess they didn't really think it was weird

or strange or anything.

They're like, Oh, you LA girl.

Therapy and organic products.

But now, everyone in my family has been to therapy.

Everyone in my fam-i-ly.

You're welcome.

My family noticed how I respond to our normal dynamics.

I just didn't fit in with certain things

that we would all do.

Whether it's like running to comedy

instead of addressing the problem,

or like keeping it a secret.

I was more like, let's get this out on the table.

Let's really get to the root.

And I think it just brought out

a hunger in everyone else to be like,

why do I think like that?

Or why do I say that?

Why do I laugh at these jokes about myself?

'Cause I'd be like, why do you do that?

I was going through a very stressful time in my life

and they just saw my personality

morph into something more positive,

but the circumstances hadn't changed.

I was just really working on myself

and I think that really inspired them.

When I hear 'toxic', I hear 'unhealed.'

Like there's just certain things I could never do again

now that I have new knowledge

because I would be intentionally going backwards.

So when I think toxic I just think unhealed,

lack of knowledge of something different.

If I didn't have the new mindset

that I've been working towards with therapy,

with growth, with time,

I would compare myself a lot more,

a lot more to other people's highlight reels,

to other people's songs,

what they wear,

how they look.

That's just what I used to do, a lot.

One of the things that I love to do to recharge

is to listen to rain, white noise, or like ambient music.

And I just feel like I can find my thoughts again, you know?

One of the first signs

when I can tell I'm getting drained

is my personality changes,

and I don't feel like centered.

I get very serious, straight to the point.

Cold.

Cold.

Cold.

'Cause when there's so many questions,

so many decide this, do this, remember this,

learn this, say this, sing this,

it's like I forget where my own thoughts are.

And I forget sometimes to even remember the good things

that happened that day or that week.

The things that I'm happy about, the things that were funny.

You know, I want to find that stillness

so a lot of the times I have to put music in

because I'm still doing stuff.

But, ideally, one of my favorite ways to recharge

is to just be by myself and journal.

I love to journal.

Literally, I be like writing to myself.

I be like, Hey, you.

Yes, you.

Me.

[Coco chuckling]

The only times that I'm on camera and I feel anxious,

when it's a really important performance

or I'm not happy with how I look.

Like, I didn't like the glam, I didn't like the outfit,

I didn't like what was going on.

Okay, my throat's getting dry, breathing heavy,

you know, I'm getting anxious,

and I do this thing that my therapist taught me.

I love her.

It's like the five senses.

So, what do I see?

What do I smell?

What do I taste?

What do I hear?

What can I touch?

And it just brings you back down to earth a little bit.

For the most part, it depends on the stakes.

One shot, one song, all the way through, no mess ups.

I'm like...

But the show will go on either way.

I'ma eat it up either way.

And then I also think about this,

everyone else in the world is nervous too.

So, y'all looking at me, I'm looking at you.

I'm not gonna be trippin if you're not trippin.

The first song that comes to mind

it would be Caliber

because it was actually the first song.

And I feel like it was just the turning point

of a new chapter of me, the adult, the adult artist,

and I love the messaging.

I'm not like tearing this guy down.

I'm like, I see something in ya, but can you keep up?

Can you get on my caliber?

I wish you the best.

I just love the messaging.

I just really feel like I stand on that.

Being in therapy helped me with my music for sure.

I was scared to disappoint people I love

and I didn't wanna say my truth all the way, for them.

But I can't change what I wanna do with my life

so that other people will enjoy their life more.

It helped me a lot with my creative freedom

to just say what I wanna say

and not worry about who's gonna be upset.

Balancing success

has been really different.

I was used to balancing striving and survival,

so now that I'm actually getting the things that I want

I'm like, another version of fear!

I don't wanna lose it.

So, I think for me it's a different type of challenge

to wanna outdo your current success.

To wanna keep these things that are good.

To, at the end of the day,

have this same perspective that I feel like I learned

when things weren't going well.

I'm like, at the end of the day,

I need a stronger foundation than success.

It comes and goes.

I need something more solid.

I need to be happy with me.

And so, to remind myself that all these things are amazing

but they aren't the foundation of my happiness.

They're just the icing on the cake.

Taking your mental health seriously

would be the best investment you can do in your life.

I mean, if you're gonna save up

for that pair of whatever, or that outfit,

I think you could also invest in the way you look at life.

It's the most important thing I've ever done for myself.

You don't know what you don't know

until you go searching for something new.

So, the longer you spend in the same patterns

the longer you will be in those same outcomes.

If you're happy with your outcomes, purr.

if you're not, figure it out.

There's answers out here.

It's just a little uncomfortable to get to those answers,

but it's worth it.